


The Nice and Accurate Cursed Ficlet

by ineffablebadger



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crack, Cringe culture is dead and we sit on its corpse like a throne, Cursed, M/M, Podfic Available, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes, Post-Apocalypse, Top Crowley (Good Omens), Tropes, Wonton Eating, bad, no really, terrible, wattpad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:41:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27212863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineffablebadger/pseuds/ineffablebadger
Summary: My friends challenged me to create the most cursed Wattpad-esque fanfiction I could muster.Please enjoy this absolute trainwreck of a fic. #SkillJuiceCobra
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 45
Kudos: 35





	The Nice and Accurate Cursed Ficlet

Hi guys this is my lemon fic >.< it is gonna be SMEXY so if you don’t like don’t read. NO FLAMES.

Special thanks to my awesome betas.

Don’t forget to comment and bookmark!

I DON”T OWN CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE NO COPYWRIGHT. I AM NOT NEIL GAIMAN IF I WAS I WOULD BE MAKING CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE MAKE OUT RIGHT NOW.

———————

Armageddon had been averted. Crowley and Aziraphale needed a holiday.

They drove to the coast in Crowley’s fast Bentley. Crowley was distracted as he drove his sleek car and his soft hands turned the large steering wheel. All he could think about was the gorgeous angel beside him in the car. His thighs and pelvis throbbed and his jeans tightened around his semi-hard member.

They pulled up at the charming boutique hotel and Crowley opened the door of the Bentley for the angel. [AN - Obvious, much?]. They went to the receptionist who looked concerned as they gave the details. “Sorry but there is only a room with a double bed not a twin as you had asked.”

I smiled nervously at Aziraphale “That ok, angle?”

“Well, yes, I suppose…we both deserve a holiday after all.” The principality was uncertain he was always extremely nervous around Crowley.

It was getting dark, so I decided that I should take the bags up to the room. [AN - Crowley is a gentlemen lmao >.<].

“I am tired after the drive.” He said

“Ok do you want to go to bed?” A bead of sweat rolled down my check. How would he share a bed with the book shop owner without losing his mind?

“Ok”

The blonde cleaned his teeth and changed in to fluffy soft tartan pyjamas and got in to bed. The lanky fiery haired demon stripped down to his boxers and got in beside him.

As they settled in for the night, the thousands of years Crowley had wanted this were there. This happened hundreds of times in the demons mind. His thoughts made him hard, his skill juice cobra was painfully erect making a small tent in the duvet.

Aziraphale raised an eyebrow “Crowley? You want me? I want you two.”

The bookshop owner rolled over and their lips met. There throbbing tongues battled for dominance as their passion, held back for millennia, came pouring out.

Aziraphale moved down Crowley’s neck, peppering kisses and nibbling at the hypersensitive flesh their as he went. He ran his hands over Crowley’s chest and tweaked his nipples. “Nygk” said Crowley in response. His chest heaved and throbbed.

“I feel a bit left out” the slithery one wined “I’m here all exposed and you’re in your PJs.”

“Well I will miracle them away.” and the angel did just that.

Their tongues continued to wrestle for the belt as they took their kiss to the depts and their passion grew.

Crowley was hard and ready for the sex. “O’ Slithery one.” the principality moaned, wonton, “Put your snake in me.”

“Not yet I want a taste of you.” said the snake. Aziraphale gulped, so turned on a bead of salty pre-cum leaked from his painfully hard member.

The snake scattered kisses down the guardian of the Eastern Gate’s chest. He pulled down the tartan boxers and took the throbbing meat in his mouth. He tentatively licked the beads of pre-cum that dripped from the throbbing trowser snake of Eden. They tasted very good and salty.

“mmm, you do taste good.”

“I am ready for you. Please put your throbbing willy inside my hole.”

Crowley grabbed the angels hips and flipped him over. “Are you ready for me?”

“Yes my bum is ready.”

Crowley collected up the pre-cum gathered on Aziraphale, and circled his hole that winked at him coyly with his long slender digits. He was so turned on he couldn’t help it, he was throbbing and waiting for the warm closeness. He put his slithery snake inside the waiting hole that was ready to receive him.

Crowley began thrusting relentlessly into the warm embrace of the bookshop owners hole. “Oh snake” Aziraphale moaned “Oh Angel.” Crowley moaned in return.

The thrusting was relentless, after many years of desire and wonton craving for each other they ponded in to the sheets.

Pre-cum streamed from the blonde’s throbbing rod as he was on the edge. “I think I’m gonna..”

“Already?” He hadn’t even been touched. That was hot to the snake who picked up the pace.

“Yes. So good. You can do it! Cum for me!.”

Aziraphale moaned as he came in thick ropes of sticky love, the muscles clenching pushed Crowley over the edge and he emptied his scrotum into the principalities hole.

“Oh Angle.”

“Oh Demon. I love you.” Aziraphale glomped the fiery red head.

———

AN: xD Glomping so random right.

I hope you enjoyed ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for coming along on this journey with me.
> 
> I'm @ineffablebadger on Twitter. Please feel free to check out my earnest writing, or don't. You're here for the wontons.
> 
> The amazing GenuineAngel did a beautiful podfic of this work which you can find [Here](https://soundcloud.com/user-682837964/the-nice-and-accurate-cursed-ficlet-by-ineffablebadger).


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